11:57:00 I enter Wong's (formerly Happy Palace (Now That's Just Wong)) Kitchen. I am the only customer. There is also what I assume to be a waiter, he sports the pubescent version of a Fu Man Chu mustache. Comedy central in on the TV.

11:57:25 I notice a sign that advertises "Fresh asparagus." Beneath it are the prices for the various accompaniments, beef, chicken, scallop, etc. I am cautiously optimistic, hey fresh asparagus.

11:57:27 I realize the 'sign' was formerly a panel from a cardboard box. Optimism fades.

11:58:01 I am greeted by Teen Man Chu.

11:58:33 Pleasantries completed, I begin to peruse the menu. I notice another sign. This is a dry erase board. It mentions something about a 3-4 lb steamed carp. I stop reading. Pessimism and whatamIdoingness set in.

11:58:45 I am drawn to the Egg Plant with Garlic Sauce. I wonder how much eggplant does this place go through. I imagine a box of wilted slimy eggplant on the floor with one of the panels missing.

11:59:12 I look over to the fresh asparagus sign. But I am again confronted with frightening steamed carp advertisement. I try to remain focused on the menu.

11:59:52 The Egg Plant in Garlic Sauce is ordered.

12:04:05 Two Mexican gentlemen have entered to dine in. They are followed by a significantly overweight hippie couple in their fifties. Pessimism fades.

12:04:06 Pessimism returns. I peak into the bar - nostalgia.

12:08:17 Egg Plant in Garlic Sauce Arrives. I return home.

12:10:00 I open back door to check on dogs. All is well. I wonder what is that smell? Oh, yeah Wong's.

12:11:34 Food out and ready to go. First thought, holy shit, there is a lot of this shit.

12:12:04 First taste. Very fried, very sugary, very msg-y.

12:13:57 Most of it is gone. I feel ok. Chug glass of water.

12:14:09 I don't feel so good.

12:15:22 Deep Breaths.

12:16:57 I surmise that I feel pretty good for consuming a pint or two of fried corn syrup and msg. I begin entering my notes. Not sure how I will end it. Guttural, spasmodic burps cause frequent spelling errors.

12:19:04 I fetch the fortune cookie: "You will follow your hearts desire." Optimism returns.