I got my new drivers license in the mail yesterday. I also received a letter from Frontier Airlines with my old license that they apparently found. Some of you may mistakenly call that irony.

Some things about my new world:

The guy in the parking lot doesn't like me. I haven't even spoken to him, but he clearly does not like me. And it's not that I purposely don't speak to him, thus giving him reason to not like me. I can imagine him saying to his parking lot buddy, as I drive in, (nudge) "I don't like the looks of that guy." I haven't decided whether I am going to make an effort to establish peaceable relations or launch a pre-emptive strike.

There is a brown paper bag in the refrigerator. Written on it: Free - 1/2 Turkey.

I put the plastic knives in the dishwasher instead of throwing them away. I am expecting an angry mass email any day now.